Throttling Down


Y’all didn’t know I had my motorcycle license, did you? Of course you didn’t. We’re just getting to know each other and I haven’t told you yet.

Well, I do and I don’t use it. It’s a long story more about wanting to do something for my husband/get him off my back/have an adventure with my son (in the photo with me) than actually being able to drive a motorcycle.

It was an accomplishment, I’m glad and proud I did it.

Anyway, I said that to give connection to the title of this post.

If you’ve skimmed through my posts, you’ll know that I wrote about having lost a friend recently. He was a former student of mine, 25 years old and the longest living heart transplant patient in Colorado, having gotten his heart when he was just weeks old.

I was asked to speak at his funeral and there were several things I wanted to say but I settled on talking about his “beautifully painful” life. But there was something else I wanted to share and didn’t have time.

After reading letitgocoach’s post titled,  “Taking a Break”  I was reminded of the other thing I wanted to share about my friend. I hope you don’t mind that I share it here.

I went to visit my friend in the hospital a few days before he died and he wanted to tell me the whole story of how he came to be in the hospital. I told him he didn’t have to but he so desperately wanted to that I felt it was important. So, he told me. And his telling was not manipulative. He wasn’t trying to get me to feel sorry for him. It was almost like a confessional.

As it is when someone is telling a story, you can infer by the intonation, volume and speed of speech what the minor details are and when the climax of the story has come. I was a little confused because his heart attack and emergency room experience were just background to get me to the most important part of the story.

The climax of the story was that all the scary health stuff had given him a moment with God. He admitted that he had been really angry with God. And he felt that all that he had been through in the past few weeks was just a series of events to push him to be honest and real with God. And he told me that God had met him in a very real, tangible, life changing way.

Here’s where I’m connecting the “Throttling Down”

His health crisis had left him weakened and stuck in a hospital room. He was confined to a very limited daily life of blood pressure checks, lab work and bland hospital food. His community consisted of his close family, friends, doctors, nurses and the hospital workers.

After his life changing experience he wanted to do something. He wanted to live out that change he had made in his life. So, he told me his goal was “to be nice to the nurses who are sticking me with needles.”

See, his life had “throttled down.” It had gotten real slow. His life had gotten real small. He couldn’t go to work, he couldn’t go out with friends. He could no longer could do great things (at least in the eyes of the world) so he decided to show love, respect and impact the world where he was. Being kind and not yelling at the nurses who were sticking him with needles (especially if you hate needles) was a big deal. It was the greatest expression that he could make.

People always talk about slowing down, paying attention to the little things. In the Kingdom of God the “last shall be first and the first shall be last and the greatest among you will be the least and the least shall be greatest.” But it’s only when life forces you to throttle down do we really experience this. It’s only when our world gets slow and small that we see the truth in that. Little things can be so important!

Little expressions of love and kindness don’t go unnoticed by God and by the people/animals/plants that you’re sharing with.

Thanks letitgocoach for reminding me today!








4 thoughts on “Throttling Down

  1. This is when I would like to have a ‘LOVE’ button to click, because it’s more than a ‘like’.

    What a beautiful testimony! I’m thrilled he came face to face with God. I had a similar experience during Chemo. I was so weak, it pushed me closer and closer to God, because He was my strength in my weakened state.

    I am sorry for your loss, but what a beautiful gift to sit there and soak up every word. He will be forever in your heart, and he made a lasting imprint on your life! When our world gets small, things get real. What a beautiful being to show kindness to the nurses with needles. I never got used to the needles.

    Thank you for sharing your heart darling. I am honored to be a part of such beauty. <3

  2. Thank you for this. It’s such a beautiful testimony. You may not realize but this will help me as my husband and I prepare for end of life as we know it. He has an insidious lung disease that will force him to “throttle down” as time goes by. There is no cure. But already we both have felt the strength and power of loving kindness. <3

    1. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. I walked with my sister as she went through a terminal illness. A caregiver’s life is sacrificial and some days it was difficult for me to go as slow as my sister had to, but as cliche as it sounds, focusing on the little things makes all the difference. God bless! Thanks for your comments.

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