“You Don’t Have to Own It” She’d Say


I woke up at 3am, as I do sometimes and I found myself thinking about my sister.

She’s been gone 22 years. I’ve now outlived her by 4 years. She never walked this path I’m walking now. Our mother didn’t either. I’m a pioneer!

Awake in the darkness, I remembered something my sister would say, “You can love, admire and enjoy something and you don’t have to own it.”

Neither one of us had much money. We both married for love, not money, and our wallet could never keep up with our dreams. So, she would recite her addage to me and herself whenever there was something we really wish we could have but knew we never could.

Now, as the dust has settled from the busy, raising kids, frenetic life I used to live – now that I’ve stopped comparing myself to others, stopped judging myself so harshly – now that I’ve been around the block and know what makes me happy and what doesn’t – that old addage of my sister’s really rings true…

I don’t have to own something to enjoy it.

There are all sorts of things I love but the initial cost, the lifestyle changes I’d have to make to have it, the upkeep, the maintenance would be just too much.

So, I’ll just enjoy it from afar, thank you. Thanks Sis!


I was 18 (on the left), my sister was 36. Circa 1982




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